For three months now I’ve felt this urge to reach out to a particular aunt on my husbands side of the family. We aren’t particularly close, but I love and respect her and she’s led a fairly successful life. She has a level head. She seems to be one of the smart ones in her family. She knows what happened 50 years ago when my husbands mom began to be the way she is and this Aunt could attest to the why of how it all started. I don’t know if that’s the reason I have felt the need to talk with her or if I thought she would have some magic wand to fix all this mess we are in- but I just knew I was supposed to reach her. Well, I tried once to get her number from my mother in law, that didn’t work (to put it mildly). I didn’t try super hard after that up until this past weekend. After our stake conference I felt the urge stronger than ever- call her and do it now. I had no idea why.
After lots of messages from me, she finally texted me back and this is what she said:
Hi Shannon! I have been out of town for 10 days and you called our land line, which we never use. I have been spending my time trying to play catch up from being gone. I know that you and Shane are getting a divorce and I’m sorry that things worked out that way. However, the many phone calls, email and now text lead me to believe that you want to discuss things that are going on between you and Shane, and probably with Robyn and Reed. I have to make it clear that I make it a rule to keep out of my own children’s marital struggles and I want you to know that I do not feel like it is any of my business what is taking place between any of the parties involved. If you want some advice from me, (since I and Clark have both been divorced) and we have learned how to negotiate this really hard situation......... here goes......
Never talk negatively or about private information about your spouse in the presence of your children, or to any of the relatives on his side of the fam. Strive to have a healthy relationship with the ex, no matter what. Let go of the outcome and leave it God. Pray to see both sides of the situation, our eyes become clouded when we only see our side. Be patient with the process. Maybe you are already doing these things, I have no idea, and i dont care who has done what, but I love both you and Shane and I am not getting involved, and therefore, I am not going to call you. Please honor that. I hope and pray that there will be healing for each of you as you move forward! I really hope you have an awesome time in Hawaii!